People who abstain from sex should say “NO” to bullying.

Hello again!

If you are a repeat visitor or have seen my last post, you know that it has been awhile since I last posted. I don’t want you to think that I’m a lazy blogger, it’s just that I’ve been going through some things. The thing awoke my from blogger hibernation is a recent experience with a social networking site. No, I’m not on Facebook… yet. (That’s coming.) I’m with a social network that many of you have probably never heard of called “The Experience Project.” It’s a site where you can start groups based on special interests and write about your experiences and opinions on things and other people respond. Anyway, I started a group called “I think people who abstain from sex should say NO to bullying.” And I posted an “experience” or article called, “Wake up, people!” I’ll comment on what happened in the days ahead, but first read the story. I’ve reprinted it here for your convenience. Here it is…

Look at this!!!   
http://www.koat.com/r/27350780/detail.html

This happened four months ago, but did any of you hear about it? I didn’t. A 13-year-old boy rapes his 7-year-old sister because he was being mercilessly bullied and tormented for being a Virgin. If this kid had been bullied for being gay it would have been all over the news and there would have been public outrage. But since he was only a Virgin, the whole thing was pretty much dismissed and laughed off just like that guy in the video did. “Awwww, come on!” he said.

I am a virgin myself and I say to other Virgins — and to Celibates too for that matter — that if you think that people who abstain from sex are hated, undervalued, and treated as less than human in this society — you are not imagining things — you are absolutely right! When I first heard about this story it made me angry. When I saw this video I wanted to cry. But this tale of anti-chaste bullying and hate is not an isolated incident. The world is full of stories of people who are bullied, harassed, and discriminated against for being Virgins or Celibate. Most go unreported as they are not considered newsworthy. Others you would have to look hard for in order to find. Like the story of Michael Berry who was bullied so relentlessly by his school peers for being a Virgin that on the morning of his seventeenth birthday he brought a gun to school and shot himself. They found his body lying on the floor of the school bathroom along with four suicide notes describing why he did it and the fact that he had nowhere to go for help or support. (view his story here)
http://ghswarriorvoice.com/student-life/2011/02/01/why-bullying-has-to-stop/

And if you think that this sort of bullying is only a problem for Virgin males, you’re wrong. I have heard stories of Virgin girls that were beaten up by gangs of other girls just for being Virgins. In another story a 17-year-old girl wanted to drop out of school because she was being hit and called names by the other kids because she was a Virgin. Then the boy she went to prom with started a rumor that he had sex with her things got worse. The other boys wanted her to “put out” for them too. Of course, she refused and then she stared being sexually harassed in addition to being bullied. 
http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/peer-pressure/41532.html

Sexual harassment is also a huge issue for sexually abstinent people. I read one story about a guy who was forced to quit a high paying job because he was being sexually harassed by female co-workers who taunted him about his Virginity and subjected him to sexually explicit harassment. He is now attempting to sue for damages for sexual harassment, sexual discrimination, and victimization.  
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-446515-my-virgin-taunt-by-sex-bully.do

This story hit home for me because I myself had to quit a job after co-workers found out that I was a Virgin and the sexual harassment became ridiculous. Sexually abstinent people also face discrimination. I haven’t been able to find any articles on it but in Spike Lee movie “School Daze” there was a fraternity that openly refused to admit Virgins. And since art imitates life such a situation had to exist somewhere.

The reason I’m saying all this is to get people to wake up. Anti-chaste bullying, sexual harassment, and discrimination has to stop. And the first step to doing that is by telling our stories and breaking the silence and apathy that surrounds this issue. What we really need is an organization to fight for the rights of Virgin and Celibate people just like the gays and every other group has. In the meantime, It’s my hope that this group will provide help and support for anyone dealing with these issues. A support group like this is what poor Michael Berry did not have. Perhaps he would still be alive had there been one.

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4 Comments

  1. Lalo

     /  August 23, 2011

    I’m not an expert when it comes to this. Didn’t even know this was possible. Useful read, appreciate your posting this.

    Reply
  2. Tommy

     /  September 8, 2011

    Thank you for your thoughtful present of having written this article. The message seems to be given to me specifically. Our son also had a lot to learn from this – though he was the individual that found your site first. Most of us can’t imagine a more superb present than a gift to encourage that you do more.

    Reply
    • Thank you for your comment. I had wondered if my site was making any impact at all. It’s good to know that my message is getting out there and is appreciated.

      Reply

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