How I became a Perpetual Virgin. Part 7

(Note: This is the last chapter in a series of posts that began in November 2011. Click here to read the previous chapters.)

Like everyone else I was raised on the notion that one day I would marry and have kids. I always assumed that sex, like death, was an inevitable conclusion. To never even try it would be against nature. So my knee-jerk reaction to this website that advocated that people should remain Virgins all their lives as a way to achieve “eternal youth, longevity, and a closer connection with God” was to run from it. “These people are nuts,” I thought as I shut down my computer. “The webmaster and everyone who posted comments agreeing with his crazy ideas saying that they were Virgins for life too were completely nuts.”

Yet no matter how much I tried to dismiss this site and its message, I kept coming back. And what kept me coming back were the people, adult Virgins like me, who posted there. Their experiences were so similar to mine — and for once I felt like I had a connection to someone. It was so reassuring it was to hear that I was not the only person going through what I was going through as an adult Virgin. And back in 2001 this was the only website that took Virginity seriously and affirmed it as something positive and acceptable for adults. I figured, why throw out the baby with the bath water? Yes, the site was a little off the wall to preach that people should purposely stay Virgins all their lives, but I decided to ignore that part. Instead, I’d just focus on the off-topic comments that people posted about saving yourself for marriage.

But something inside me started to change. The more I thought about my Virginity the more I realized how much it actually meant to me. Whenever I thought about having to give it up (even in the context of marriage) I would become extremely depressed. I realized how much my virginity truly enriched my life. It gave me freedom, clarity, and an optimism that other people didn’t have. I also realized that the feelings I had when I was going through that phase of wanting to lose my Virginity to the first guy that came along were coming more out of a desire to fit in and be normal than a genuine desire for sex. Furthermore, I realized that whatever feelings that I had about getting married and starting a family I had because I had been conditioned to think that it was inevitable and what I should want. It had nothing to do with what I subconsciously wanted for myself. But now I knew without a doubt that what I truly wanted was to remain a Virgin, always. And for the first time I realized that I could pursue another path other than the one society held up. I decided to take the road less traveled. I would choose to remain a Virgin for life. I would become a Perpetual Virgin.


So that’s how I came to be a Perpetual Virgin. And though I am ending my story here, my life being the person that I truly am was only beginning. Over the next 12 years I would continue to grow spiritually and mentally to embrace this path that God’s grace has permitted me to follow. And if there’s one thing I want all the reluctant virgins and virgin-in-waiting to take away from my story it’s that any Virgin can be a Perpetual Virgin. I was once just like you.

How I came to be a Perpetual Virgin menu

Leave a comment


  1. Ms. J

     /  January 28, 2013

    Although I’m just 20, I have to agree with everything you said, Miss Daphne. I’m not around men that would really interest me and I have no relationship experience whatsoever. People told me that it would get better in college, but the prospects look bleak nowadays. College students rarely date and would rather hookup for sex instead. I even had someone tell me that I’m the type of woman a guy wants to marry but not date.

    But I see a better future in sight. I’m currently applying or summer internships in the city and feel closer to my career goals. I even came across some articles about people finding their first true love later in life. If I don’t have sex now, there’s always the future, I guess!

    Take care.

  2. Don’t rush anything. That’s my advice. It’s always better to take your time and figure out what you really want.

  3. Coaseteonse

     /  February 4, 2013

    It is difficult to obtain knowledgeable men and women on this subject, but you sound like you know what you are talking about! Thanks.

  4. I am a 53 yr old virgin and may remain a virgin. I am a perpetual virgin and proud of my virginity. I find your comments very interesting.

    • Thanks. I hope you’ll hang around. I created this blog especially for people like you.

      • As a 53 yr old male virgin I have followed the same path which has led to my destiny as a perpetual virgin. I don’t want to lose my virginity and have the sexual status of a virgin who has never kissed and is pure. Your knowledge of this subject is extensive and I am aware that perpetual virgins are a rare find. There are few sites that cater for adult virgins and I find this site inspiring and has much to which I can relate to. In doing this you have improved the self esteem of adult virgins and virginity in general. I look forward to your future blogs.

      • Wow, I didn’t know I had that effect on people. What are some of the sites you’ve found that cater to adult Virgins? Good Virgin sites are hard to find.

  5. Life Experience has a forum for virgins but apart from this and your site there are hardly any that cater for adult virgins. This is one of the best virgin sites I have registered with and I totally agree with your views on virginity and have shared some of your experiences as a perpetual virgin. Keep up the good work and if you ever need any support I would only be to happy to help.

  6. I have found virgins over 40, few in number but am unable to find any current perpetual virgins. Are there any other perpetual virgins in todays society? or are we unique.

    • There are others but it’s hard to get in touch with them because we have no official groups or places to congregate. Of course, there are the religious ones that have organizations like the United States
      Association of Consecrated Virgins ( ) or who are members of “secular institutes” ( But regular folks like you and me who don’t have the Catholic Church or some big religious institution to back us up and make our lifestyle “socially acceptable” or “creditable” live very closeted which makes connecting to one another difficult. There are probably more of us than you would think but most have either not come to the realization of what they are, or they are in the chastity closet.

  7. Perpetual Virginity was a process of realization for myself and I am proud of this status and more than happy to promote myself as a Perpetual Virgin knowing there is at least one other person who shares the same lifestyle and convictions. I have little doubt that the virgin population is on the decline in todays world and I am a member of a very small group in society. It is a pity there is not an Association of Perpetual Virgins and that we have to communicate in this way or even worse not at all. I am sure there are other virgins who would benefit from this and wonder if there would be enough support to form an Association of Perpetual Virgins?

    • I don’t think that the Virgin population is on the decline at all. I think that we are seeing a resurgence of Virgins in today’s society due to 20 – 30 years of abstinence education. You may recall that in my story “How I became a Perpetual Virgin” I said that I made a vow of abstinence at 12 that lasted into adulthood. Society assumes that kids who make abstinence pledges will have sex anyway but I am living proof that not all of them do. The Virgin movement will only continue to grow as generation after generation of these kids grow up and come to the realization that they are Chaste.

      • I stand corrected and as a 53 yr old virgin I am living proof of this. I am a perpetual virgin and proud of this. Your views on virginity have inspired me and it is good to see that you have a staunch stand on this. I have not made an abstinence pledge but have remained a virgin all my life. I wish to remain a virgin and promote virginity and I totally applaud your stance on virginity and it is good to hear that you do not think the Virgin population is on the decline and I bow to your superior knowledge on this. I am grateful that I have found a perpetual virgin who is living the same lifestyle as myself and would like to join you in the promotion of virginity. I hope you share and understand my stance on virginity.

      • I share and understand it completely and appreciate your support.

  8. I gives me pleasure to have found another perpetual virgin who is living the same lifestyle as myself. I share many experiences with you and offer my hand of friendship as a perpetual virgin. Opportunities to share such experiences are very limited. I have much in common with your views on virginity and wish to continue sharing these with you. Your quality website and stance on virginity has inspired me so much that I would like to offer you my e-mail address in order to enrich my life as a perpetual virgin. I would like to discuss the subject of virginity with you on a regular basis in order to support the virgin population. I would be pleased if you would accept my offer in order to order to enhance virginity. I would also like to add that you are a star virgin.


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