All posts tagged Virgin

How Virgins seeking Virgins online can avoid being catfished.

OK. So, hopefully you’ve read the last post and you know all about my embarrassing experience of being catfished by a horny guy posing online as a Virgin using a Virginity website that he created as a come-on. But…

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…”

Well, that hasn’t happened yet. And I don’t ever intend for it to happen. Oh, I’ve encountered other catfish posing as Virgins since I got scammed the first time, but I’ve learned a lot since then, and I’ve successfully dodged bullets ever since. So Virgins, if you don’t want to end up as catfish bait for some creepy Virgin hunter, here’s some things you must always remember before trusting anyone you meet online who claims to be a Virgin — especially if they may have romantic interest in you.

1. Never take anything at face value.

Never take anything at face value.

As I’ve said, there have always been attention seekers and cheats who have lied about being Virgins, and just because someone says they’re a Virgin it doesn’t mean that they are. Never take anything at face value — especially on the internet. Always, always ask questions. And learn to ask the right questions. NEVER ask someone, “Are you a Virgin?” People interpret “Virgin” to mean all kinds of things and they can always say “yes” based on something that’s total nonsense. Instead you should ask, “What is the most sexual thing that you have ever done?” Of course, the right answer to this question is (and they should say this without hesitation), that they haven’t engaged in any form of sexual activity at all. But many catfish will readily admit that they’ve engaged in oral intercourse, manual intercourse, or anal intercourse because they foolishly think that these things are acceptable in the Virgin community. I have stopped dozens of catfish dead in their tracks this way. It’s one of the first things I ask any would-be Virgin I meet, and if they give the wrong answer — they’re history. The “What is the most sexual thing you’ve ever done?” question is one of the most important weapons in your arsenal to quickly flush out a potential fake. It’s a simple direct approach that you can use online or offline that will keep you from wasting time with posers who aren’t worth your time.

2. People can’t give what they don’t have.

What if the person you’re talking to says that they are as pure as the falling snow when you ask about their sexual background? Silently congratulate them for having the sense to know what “Virgin” means but still don’t trust them. A clever catfish may be able to bypass the first hurdle by telling a simple lie but this next hurdle is almost sure to trip them up. Remember how I told you in the last post about Bill not having anything to say about his experiences as a Virgin? I know now that it was because he had no experiences to talk about! Sure, everybody was a Virgin once, including Bill. But the common person who either lost their Virginity at an early age or sleepwalked through it can’t talk about it like someone who has really experienced it can. Real Virgins are so starved for an emphatic ear that when they finally do meet another Virgin, everything that they’ve been holding in about the experience of being a Virgin in a society where they are an oppressed minority pours out. Their lives, their thoughts, their feelings, their shared ideas and experiences dominate the conversation. But if the person you’re talking to is strangely quiet on these matters… if they are evasive when you ask them to tell you about themselves and their Virgin experiences — meaning that they are not straightforward with you and they try to avoid the issue, change the subject, or beat around the bush — they’re fake. This isn’t something that you should have to pull out of them if they were on the same wavelength as you. Some catfish will try to fake it by telling you something very general or stereotypical. One guy tried to act like he was in the know by telling me that people called him “gay” because he allegedly never had sex — but lots of people are called “gay” for all kinds of reasons, this is not unique to Virgins and it proves nothing. You’re looking for experiences that are uniquely Virgin — and the more specifics some one gives you, the more likely they are to be for real. Being a Virgin yourself, you’ll know if what they’re saying rings true.

Some things can’t be faked. Experience is one, innocence is another. Innocence is more than just a word. It’s a state of being that shows in your attitude and outlook on life. Innocence is vibrant, energetic, and passionate, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. If the person you’re talking to is stoic, blasé, or apathetic — if they’re standoffish and can’t seem to relate to your intensity — it’s a sure sign that they’re jaded. They’ve been around, they’ve lost it, and they’re fake. People can’t give what they don’t have. And you can’t get purity of experience or the qualities of innocence from someone who simply doesn’t have it to give.

3. Trust your instincts.

Undoubtedly, the biggest mistake I made when I was catfished was that I didn’t trust my instincts. I wanted to believe in this guy so badly that I ignored multiple red flags and dismissed that little voice that told me something was wrong. Always trust your instincts and go with your gut. Even if the person you’re talking to says all the right things and seems to be passionate and sincere — if your gut tells you something’s not right — trust your gut. Even if you happen to be wrong, at least you won’t end up like Manti Te’o. ♦

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2 Comments

by Miss Daphne on July 28, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Dating, Liars and fakes

Posted by Miss Daphne on July 28, 2013

https://virginitysvoice.org/2013/07/28/how-virgins-seeking-virgins-online-can-avoid-catfish/

Virgins seeking Virgins online should beware of catfish.

When I first came to live with the fact that I was a Virgin adult and would remain so indefinitely, I went online to find others like me. Anyone in any given situation naturally wants to reach out to others in the same situation for guidance and support. I found a website that advertised having a support group for Virgins. This website and support group was run by a self-styled prophet who preached that Virginity was “the way of God” and that people should (this is an exact quote from the website) “eliminate the desire for sex and break free from the cycle of death and rebirth and find eternal youth and longevity.”

Anyhow…. this was the only Virgin support group that I could find, and this seemed to be the only website that had anything hopeful to say about adult Virginity.

It was a closed group, so I sent a request to join. Later, I received an email from the support group leader, webmaster, and self-professed Perpetual Virgin who I’ll call “Bill.” Bill and I ended up exchanging emails for a couple of weeks. I began to suspect that something was off because in all that time I had spoken only to him. This was supposed to be a support group. Where was the group? Whenever I asked Bill about the group or meeting other members, he changed the subject. I guessed that maybe Bill was the gatekeeper whose job it was to scrutinize every prospective new member to see if they were the right fit before admitting them. But I seriously began to wonder if there was a group at all, or if Bill made it up to lure Virgin women into a potential relationship with him. During the course of our chats he seemed to become possessive and got belligerent when I talked about the possibility of becoming sexually involved with another guy. But after such a long time of feeling like I was the only Virgin on earth — I was so glad to had finally found someone else like me (or so I thought), I pushed aside any doubts that I had.

I began to open up to Bill and express things that I couldn’t express to anyone else in my life because they were not on my level. I trusted Bill and allowed myself to feel that I had this very deep connection with him because we were “the same”. Bill, on the other hand, was distant and stony. He strangely had nothing to say about himself or his life. I began to wonder why it was that I was doing all the talking. Several times I stopped and asked Bill to tell me something about his Virgin experiences, and each time he evaded the question.

Inevitably, the subject of sex came up. You can’t talk about abstinence without talking about sex since one cannot exist in this world without the other. It was then that Bill told me that he was, in his words, “NOT 100% pure” — and that he had engaged in manual intercourse where he had allowed a “girl” to give him a handjob. My spirit crashed. Bill was not a Virgin! Worse yet, he wasn’t even Chaste and obviously didn’t believe in Chastity since he also informed me that if a woman wanted to give him oral sex he “wouldn’t deny her that.”

So, all that time I had been bearing my soul to someone who had been deceiving me all along. To think that this fool had gone to the extreme of building a website where he preached from atop Mount Olympus that everyone should follow his example and remain as pure as falling snow if they wanted to know God! This guy had a significant number of followers. So he not only catfished me, he lied to and mislead thousands of people who subscribed to his website. The fact that he finally told me the truth (at least, as much of it as he was willing to tell — he’d probably done a lot more than just have one woman jerk him off once) didn’t make it any easier to swallow. As for the “Virgin support group” that he was supposed to be the leader of, it turned out that it was real; he introduced me to it shortly afterward. But it was quickly clear to me that its members were all a bunch of fakes just like him, so I left. By the way, this website and support group no longer exists.

The moral of this story is… just because someone says they’re a Virgin , it doesn’t mean that they are. There have always been people who have falsely claimed a Virgin identity to get attention, to please traditionalist parents, or to make themselves look more desirable to a potential spouse/lover. Although it’s never acceptable to lie to or deceive anyone, real Virgins who live very isolated lives surrounded by people who are not their peers are particularly vulnerable to those who would take advantage their loneliness and desperation. This has never been more truer it is in this current age of social networking. There’s a name for it: “Catfishing!”

Catfishing is the phenomenon where Internet scammers create fake online profiles, identities, and entire social circles to lure people into deceptive online romances.

Catfishing is the phenomenon where Internet scammers create fake online profiles, identities, and entire social circles to lure people into deceptive online romances. The Manti Ta’o fake girlfriend hoax which received a tsunami of media coverage last February brought the threat of Catfishing into public awareness. My experience was not as bad as Manti Ta’o’s, but it was traumatic enough to make me change the way that I interact with everyone I meet online who claims to be a Virgin. What happened to me was a learning experience. Who knows, maybe it was meant to happen just so I could share what I’ve learned from it with you through this blog. In my next post, I will be giving tips and advice on how you out there in the Virgin community may avoid being baited by catfish that are lurking on websites and social media pages about Virginity.

You could be a Perpetual Virgin if…

There has been so much mythology surrounding Perpetual Virgins that most people think they aren’t real.

When you hear the term “Perpetual Virgin” the first image that comes to mind is probably of The Virgin Mary. Or, perhaps you may think of Catholic saints, Vestal Virgins, or ancient goddesses. There has been so much mythology surrounding Perpetual Virgins that most people think they aren’t real. I used to be one of those people as I commented in my biography How I came to be a Perpetual Virgin. But a Perpetual Virgin is really just an average person with a not so average life.

First and foremost, a Perpetual Virgin is a Virgin that is naturally oriented toward living an unmarried, sexually inactive life — and makes a conscious decision to do so. But there are other things that define a Perpetual Virgin too, and I have comprised a list of them.

You might be a Perpetual Virgin if…

You believe that staying a Virgin is the way of life that is best for your personal happiness and well-being, and is good for fulfilling your goals in life.
You believe sexual purity beings you closer to God or spiritual perfection.
You would never even consider doing anything sexually that would even remotely damage or compromise your sexual purity.
You believe staying a Virgin makes you better suited for some kinds of religious service, or is the best lifestyle for following the spiritual path of your choice.
Your spirit is blissfully happy most of the time.
Your spirit is very vigorous and energetic most of the time.
You find the thought of marriage depressing.
You don’t believe in abusing alcohol, doing drugs, smoking, swearing, or anything that is not pure in nature.
You don’t particularly want, need, or crave the orgasmic aspect of sexuality, though you have a normal sex drive and there is nothing physically wrong with you.
You have a strong desire for sexual intimacy, but don’t want sex itself in any form.
You prefer to dress modestly, not showing too much skin, because you don’t want to attract unchaste sexual attention.
You don’t appreciate it when someone comes on to you in a sexually unchaste way.
You just don’t see what all the fuss over sex is about. It seems like a big deal over nothing. You get bored or disgusted watching sex scenes in movies.
You believe your virginity, your body, and your sexuality belongs to you and no one else — and you question the concept of “saving” them for someone.
You are not entirely comfortable with traditional gender roles and don’t want the burden of being bound by them that the loss of Virginity, or a conventional relationship would bring.
Your virginity means so much to you that you are willing to endure criticism, loneliness, persecution, ridicule or whatever it takes to keep it.
Your Virginity means a lot to you and you would regret it for the rest of your life if you traded it in for a relationship that didn’t work.
You don’t feel you need to get married to obtain happiness, fulfillment, or worth.
You personally view all sex, consensual or not, as a kind of rape.
You believe that marriage is slavery for the woman and prison for the man.
You don’t feel you need to have sex to prove that you are an adult or a “real” woman/man.
You believe that unmarried chastity better enables you to pursue your dreams and do a lot of good in the world because you are not confined by having to care for a spouse and children.
Sex does not represent a temptation for you.
You believe that a God/destiny guides your life and that you have been allowed to remain a Virgin into adulthood for a purpose.
You love being a virgin and can’t imagine life any other way.

If you are a Virgin and you recognized yourself in many of these statements, if you feel something stirring inside you, if overall this sounds rational or makes sense — then you might be oriented or “called” to the life of a Perpetual Virgin. You can explore it and see where it leads or you can ignore it and live a normal life. Either way… Perpetual Virginity is real.

5 Comments

by Miss Daphne on March 13, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Perpetual Virginity, Religion

Posted by Miss Daphne on March 13, 2013

https://virginitysvoice.org/2013/03/13/you-might-be-a-perpetual-virgin-if/

“Catfishing” not news to Virgins.

People looking for relationships in the murky waters of cyberspace now have a new danger to watch out for this Valentine’s day… Catfish!

One month ago a catfish was, well… a fish. But now it has become a term for a phenomenon rocketed into the public consciousness by the bizarre events of the Manti Ta’o girlfriend hoax. For those outside the US who may not know what I’m talking about — Manti Ta’o is an American football player who fell in love with what he thought was an attractive young woman that he met on a social networking site. The relationship lasted for several years until Manti discovered that this “woman” who he had only communicated with online and over the phone was really a disturbed man who had created a fake online profile with a fictitious name, a made-up life, and a photograph of a woman hijacked from someone else’s profile. Manti Ta’o had been the victim of a “catfish”!

A Catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they are not online using Facebook or other social media to create a false identity, especially to lure unsuspecting people into deceptive online romances. The word “catfish” comes from the 2010 documentary Catfish about a man who, like Manti Ta’o, fell for a woman he met online based on a fabricated social media profile created by an internet predator to trick him into an emotional/romantic relationship. (Watch the video at this link for more info on the Manti Ta’o story and the catfishing phenomenon.)

A Catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they are not online using Facebook or other social media to create a false identity.

For weeks the Manti Ta’o catfishing story dominated the news. But it wasn’t news in my opinion, and I couldn’t understand why they were making such a big deal out of it. So, a guy gets scammed on the internet by a fraud. There are lots of frauds on the internet, and I knew that from personal experience. Surely, everyone knows you can’t trust everything you see on the internet, right?

Well, apparently lots of people didn’t know that. I was shocked by the number of people I ‘ve seen in videos across the internet that said that they had never heard of predators with deceptive online profiles or “catfish” before. The term “catfishing” may be new, but there’s nothing new about someone trying to lure you into a relationship by pretending to be something they are not. Virgins have been dealing with catfish — or in our case — non-virgins who pretend to be Virgins just to get into our pants, since before there was an internet. There’s a lot of frustration among Virgins about people who pretend to be Virgins, and this is becoming a serious problem as Virgin adults become more visible and begin to seek out other Virgin adults for moral support, friendship, and yes… even love. But these things become very difficult to achieve when every other person that claims to be a Virgin is not, and you don’t know who to trust.

So the whole catfishing thing was not news to me — and I doubt that it was news for the majority of real Virgins who probably have their own fish stories to tell. I certainly have mine.

How I became a Perpetual Virgin. Part 7

(Note: This is the last chapter in a series of posts that began in November 2011. Click here to read the previous chapters.)

Like everyone else I was raised on the notion that one day I would marry and have kids. I always assumed that sex, like death, was an inevitable conclusion. To never even try it would be against nature. So my knee-jerk reaction to this website that advocated that people should remain Virgins all their lives as a way to achieve “eternal youth, longevity, and a closer connection with God” was to run from it. “These people are nuts,” I thought as I shut down my computer. “The webmaster and everyone who posted comments agreeing with his crazy ideas saying that they were Virgins for life too were completely nuts.”

Yet no matter how much I tried to dismiss this site and its message, I kept coming back. And what kept me coming back were the people, adult Virgins like me, who posted there. Their experiences were so similar to mine — and for once I felt like I had a connection to someone. It was so reassuring it was to hear that I was not the only person going through what I was going through as an adult Virgin. And back in 2001 this was the only website that took Virginity seriously and affirmed it as something positive and acceptable for adults. I figured, why throw out the baby with the bath water? Yes, the site was a little off the wall to preach that people should purposely stay Virgins all their lives, but I decided to ignore that part. Instead, I’d just focus on the off-topic comments that people posted about saving yourself for marriage.

But something inside me started to change. The more I thought about my Virginity the more I realized how much it actually meant to me. Whenever I thought about having to give it up (even in the context of marriage) I would become extremely depressed. I realized how much my virginity truly enriched my life. It gave me freedom, clarity, and an optimism that other people didn’t have. I also realized that the feelings I had when I was going through that phase of wanting to lose my Virginity to the first guy that came along were coming more out of a desire to fit in and be normal than a genuine desire for sex. Furthermore, I realized that whatever feelings that I had about getting married and starting a family I had because I had been conditioned to think that it was inevitable and what I should want. It had nothing to do with what I subconsciously wanted for myself. But now I knew without a doubt that what I truly wanted was to remain a Virgin, always. And for the first time I realized that I could pursue another path other than the one society held up. I decided to take the road less traveled. I would choose to remain a Virgin for life. I would become a Perpetual Virgin.

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So that’s how I came to be a Perpetual Virgin. And though I am ending my story here, my life being the person that I truly am was only beginning. Over the next 12 years I would continue to grow spiritually and mentally to embrace this path that God’s grace has permitted me to follow. And if there’s one thing I want all the reluctant virgins and virgin-in-waiting to take away from my story it’s that any Virgin can be a Perpetual Virgin. I was once just like you.

How I came to be a Perpetual Virgin menu

17 Comments

by Miss Daphne on January 28, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Aging, Perpetual Virginity

Tagged abstinence, adult virginity, adult virgins, Celibacy, chastity, Christian, God, marriage, November 2011, perpetual virgin, perpetual virginity, sex, United States, Virgin, virginity, virgins

Posted by Miss Daphne on January 28, 2013

https://virginitysvoice.org/2013/01/28/how-i-became-a-perpetual-virgin-part-7/

The new “Virginity’s Voice” looks back at the top Virgin-related stories of 2012.

I would like to start by saying “Happy New Year” … and welcome to the new and improved Virginity’s Voice!

This day has been a long time coming. As you may or may not know, this site had been under construction for what had seemed like forever. Life often gets in the way of what you really want to do. But now Virginity’s Voice is back and ringing in 2013 with a new attitude! Some of the changes include a new look, an updated about page, a glossary of Virgin-related terms… and now you can keep up with Virginity’s Voice on Facebook! If you are not yet a follower of this blog I sincerely hope that you will become one because it will only continue to grow, evolve, and get better and better!

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Now, before I move on with the business of 2013, I would like to take a brief look back at some of the Virgin-related events of 2012. A lot has happened during the past several months that this site was under construction that I have been dying to comment on. So if you’ll indulge me for a while — here’s my belated list of the top 3 Virgin-related stories of 2012.

#3

Robert Pattinson gives his Virginity and gets screwed

Robert Pattinson betrayed by Kristen Stewart

The betrayal of “good old-fashioned lover boy” Robert Pattinson by Kristen Steward was one of the biggest Hollywood scandals of 2012.

Before Robert Pattinson got together with Twilight co-star Kristen Steward, rumors and speculation swirled about the gorgeous young actor’s sexual identity — was he a Virgin or not? Pattinson was like the human version of Edward Cullen, the character he portrayed in the film: a 107-year-old vampire who had never lost his Virginity, and had “old school” attitudes when it came to romance. Pattinson never came straight out and admitted that he was a Virgin. Real Virgins usually don’t go around advertising their Virginity, especially if they are over 18, and especially if they are movie stars. However, Pattinson did drop subtle hints about his Virgin identity from time to time. In an early Irish cinema interview with Paul Byrne when he was asked to comment about the message of abstinence in Twilight and about Edward Cullen saving himself for the right woman, Pattinson said “I completely believe in that.”

And for whatever it’s worth, being the “professional” Virgin that I am… I could tell that Pattinson was a Virgin. Don’t ask how if you don’t already know. It just takes an experienced one to know one.

Being the highly passionate being that we Virgins are, Pattinson fell hard for Steward and their onscreen relationship carried over into real life and soon became serious…. at least for Pattinson. “Friends of Robert have told us that this was the woman that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with,” stated Us Weekly magazine.

On July 21, 2012, Pattinson had addressed rumors that the two had already secretly married in an interview for Blackbook Magazine: “No one ever knows what is true or what isn’t … It’s not. At least, not yet. But it is true that Kristen has always done something to me that others haven’t.” Pattinson said.

A few days later, US Weekly broke the news of an affair between Steward, 22, and her 41-year-old Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, a married father of two. The magazine had published a cover photo of Steward kissing Sanders, prompting swift public apologies from both.

“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob,” Steward said in a statement.

At the time, Pattinson had reportedly just bought a $5 million home in Los Angeles and was planning to propose to Stewart within weeks. He was not only blindsided and totally “devastated” by news of the affair — he was reportedly “horrified” by Steward’s public apology. Shortly afterward, moving trucks were spotted outside the home the two had shared, and Pattinson had fled to who knows where.

No one need wonder anymore if Pattinson is a Virgin. Steward definitely screwed him figuratively and literally. There are some in the Virgin community who say that getting romantically involved with a non-virgin is suicide and that Pattinson brought it all on himself. Who can really say? Meanwhile, it was reported in November that Pattinson had taken Steward back and photos had emerged of the couple together in public. Then it was reported in December that they had got into a huge fight over the Christmas holiday and had broken up again. Then a few days ago they reportedly got back together again and celebrated New Year’s Eve together. Whatever. The damage has been done.

But that’s OK, Virgins. We still have Elijah Wood.

#2

Hollywood salutes Virginity in Snow White and the Huntsman

Virginal Snow White (Kristen Steward) charms a pure white stag in a scene from “Snow White and the Huntsman.”

Note: “Spoiler Alert!”

Ironically, the sex scandal involving Kristen Steward cheating on Robert Pattinson with her director Rupert Sanders brings me to my #2 Virgin-related story of 2012. The film Snow White and the Huntsman starring Kristen Steward and directed by Rupert Sanders was a watershed event for the positive portrayal of Virgins on the silver screen.

Released on June 1, 2012, SWATH takes the classic Brothers Grimm fairy tale and gives it a radical new vibe with a Snow White who is not only the “fairest” but the most courageous of them all. She doesn’t just sit around singing “someday my prince will come.” This is a strong and independent Snow White who frees herself from the tower where she was imprisoned, learns from the huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) how to fight, and returns to the castle wearing a suit of armor and leading an army of her people to vanquish the evil queen (Charlize Theron). She is a cross between The Virgin Mary and Joan of Arc: an icon and warrior whose power comes from her purity, especially her purity of heart.

SWATH is the first major Hollywood film I’ve seen in which the Virginity of a character in a leading role is accepted, respected, and fully recognized. Usually, whenever Virgins appeared in films they were there for the audience to laugh at. (Example: Steve Carell as “The 40-year-old virgin”) Or — if they were heroic figures who were supposed to be taken seriously — their Virginity was downplayed and not talked about. (Example: Tobey Maguire as “Spider-Man”) SWATH is unique in that it features a serious heroic character whose Virginity is not only front and center, but a key element of the story. The words “Virgin” and “Virginity” are never used, but the film practically bends over backwards to make it clear that Snow White is Virginal. Her purity is mentioned frequently. Animals instinctively sense it and connect to her. She is approached by a pure white unicorn-like creature in one scene and her innocence calms a raging troll in another. It is her innocence and purity, not her physical appearance, which makes her beautiful and a threat to the evil queen.

This is not your typical Hollywood film that caters to a pop culture audience. There’s one very striking scene when Snow White is shown locked inside the prison tower kneeling and praying “The Lord’s Prayer”. In another surprising twist at the end, Snow White doesn’t marry the prince (Sam Claflin) — or the huntsman, the man she truly loved, whose kiss woke her from eternal sleep — but remains single and rules the kingdom perhaps as a “Virgin Queen” like Elizabeth I, devoting herself to her subjects.

The only issue that I have with this film is its star. Why they chose Kristen Steward to play Snow White is one of the greatest mysteries ever. I don’t think she was at all right for the part (I would have like to have seen it played by an actual Virgin) and her acting was mediocre. Even so, SWATH is a thrill to watch, and I give special credit to the writers (Evan Daugherty, John Lee Hancock, and Hossein Amini) and the producers (Laurie Boccaccio, Gloria S. Borders, Sarah Bradshaw, Helen Hayden, Sam Mercer, Palak Patel, and Joe Roth) for bringing this marvelous film with its positive and affirmative image of Virgins to life.

One can only wonder as we move into 2013 if the times could finally be “a-changing” in Hollywood. As Virgins become more visible in society, could SWATH be the start of a trend for them also becoming more visible as serious characters in films? Let’s hope.

#1

Cabaret icon Pam Shaw goes public about being a Virgin at 70

Pam Shaw, a Virgin at 70

70-year-old Cabaret singer Pam Shaw, star of the London and Las Vegas stage for over 43 years, revealed that she was a Virgin to UK newspaper The Sun on May 9, 2012. She explained that she did not believe in sex before marriage and that she never questioned the fact that she would remain a Virgin for as long as she was single.

This photo shows a flyer for her show as a cabaret star.
Photo Credit: Huffington Post

Pam Shaw who resides in Wigan, England and goes by the stage name “The Sexational Pam” has had a long illustrious career on the stage, in television, and on radio. In the 1960’s she was a popular Las Vegas performer and did a show with “It’s not unusual” singer Tom Jones, one of the most popular vocalists to emerge from the British Invasion, during a week-long stint at Bolton Casino. She also rubbed shoulders with male sex symbols like James Bond actor Roger Moore and opened shows for comic Ken Dodd and crooner Englebert Humperdinck.

She said that men often made false assumptions about her sex life, or lack thereof, because of her looks and career in the entertainment industry.

“Men saw the outfits I wore on stage and thought I would be easy. But I’ve never really been intimate with a man, just a bit of kissing. I had a sexy stage name and dressed sexy but that was all for my career,” she said. “There has never been time for me to get a man. I worked so much that sometimes I’d only have an hour’s sleep each night. I wouldn’t entertain the idea of sex outside marriage — and marriage meant giving up on my dreams.”

Personally, I find Pam’s story to be an inspiration. Virgins like me have few older role models who have lived such a successful and exciting life.

Unfortunately, society and the media being what it is, Pam’s story was twisted and sensationalized. Her picture was splattered across every newspaper, blog, and social media outlet in Britain and the US portraying her as a “weirdo” or a pathetic figure desperate to “lose it.”

Some of the headlines included: “THE 70-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN! SO TRAGIC!!!”

“70-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN SAYS SHE’S READY TO HAVE SEX!!!”

And “70-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN LOOKING TO GET LAID!!!”

I read a number of different articles on this story and nowhere did I see Pam quoted as saying that she was “looking to get laid.” What she actually said was — “I feel I am ready to give marriage a go and maybe go to bed with a man. You are never too old for anything.”

“My standards are still very high, though,” she said. “I’m hoping to bag a tall, dark and handsome millionaire.”

My feeling as a Perpetual Virgin is that if she stayed a Virgin for this long she might as well keep going. But if marriage to “a tall, dark and handsome millionaire” is what she really wants, I think she should go for it.

I applaud you Pam for keeping your flame burning for this long.

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And that’s my pick of the top Virgin-related stories of 2012. May 2013 be fantastic!

2 Comments

by Miss Daphne on January 13, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Aging, Blogging, Celebrities, Holidays, In the News, Movies, Perpetual Virginity

Posted by Miss Daphne on January 13, 2013

https://virginitysvoice.org/2013/01/13/the-new-virginitys-voice-looks-back-at-the-top-virgin-related-stories-of-2012/

Please pardon my dust — response to “under construction” comment

I recently received a comment from a follower of my blog, on my last “under construction” post. I decided to give an official response because I suspect that this may be a reflection of what many of you may have been thinking. This person called “Yosten” wrote:

“You used to write exceptional posts, but the last several posts have been kinda boring. I miss your wonderful posts. Past couple of posts are just slightly bit out of track!”

Yes, Yosten. I know. My goal has always been to be a writer that writes with a purpose about things that are meaningful to me, and to do it well. I know that these last couple posts haven’t been up to my usual standards and I regret that. But again, behind the scenes, I have been doing a lot of construction to expand this site, so pretty much all of my energy has been focused on that. These little snippet posts have been my way of keeping the site on life support until everything’s completed. How many interesting, excellent, and wonderful sites have fallen by the wayside because their owners didn’t bother to keep them current? Personally, if I see a site that hasn’t shown any sign of life in several months or more, I assume it’s dead and move on. So even if these last few posts have been rather lackluster… at least you know that I’m still here, the site is still open for business, and that you can post anytime and most likely get a reply.

Right now, the construction phase is at its halfway mark. I’ve just completed my first new page and I’m working day and night to get the rest done. Meanwhile, you can follow Virginity’s Voice on Facebook — and if you’re new to this site, feel free to browse the archives. Just bear with me during this transitional time and when everything is unveiled — I promise you it’s going to be great!

By the way, my birthday was yesterday. I’m a 43-year-old Virgin now!

Steve Carell, eat your heart out!

9 Comments

by Miss Daphne on July 19, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Blogging

Tagged abstinence, adult virginity, adult virgins, blogging, celebrities, Celibacy, chastity, entertainment, perpetual virgin, perpetual virginity, technology, Virgin, virginity, virgins

Posted by Miss Daphne on July 19, 2012

https://virginitysvoice.org/2012/07/19/please-pardon-my-dust-response-to-under-construction-comment/

Under Construction — Update 07/06/12

Hey all! Just checking in to let everybody know that the site is not dead. Far from it! Even though you haven’t seen a lot of activity lately in terms of posts, there’s a lot going on behind the scenes. I’m working on several brand new pages and installing new features all the time. And now, you can visit Virginity’s Voice on Facebook! Check out my “Virginity’s Voice” page where I’ll be posting frequent updates on my progress and whatever else is on my mind.

Don’t forget to “like” me on Facebook. : )

Peace.

12 Comments

by Miss Daphne on July 6, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Blogging

Tagged adult virginity, adult virgins, blogging, Celibacy, chastity, facebook, frequent updates, gaming, perpetual virgin, perpetual virginity, social networking, social-media, technology, Virgin, virginity, virgins

Posted by Miss Daphne on July 6, 2012

https://virginitysvoice.org/2012/07/06/under-construction-update-070612/

Post a hug for Valentine’s Day!

Yep. It’s that time of year again!

Here’s my funny Valentine video for you!

So, for all the Virgin guys out there without a Valentine today, whether you’re a nerd or not…. here’s a great big hug from me.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

(And if any of you guys could post a hug to the Virgin ladies out there without a Valentine, I’m sure they’d appreciate it!)

5 Comments

by Miss Daphne on February 13, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Dating, Holidays, Stereotypes

Posted by Miss Daphne on February 13, 2012

https://virginitysvoice.org/2012/02/13/post-a-hug-for-valentines-day/

How I came to be a Perpetual Virgin. part 6

Someone once said “Everybody is afraid of dying until it hits you! After that you don’t give it a second thought.” That quote popped into my mind as I was thinking about what to write for this post and it’s ironic how much it sums up my own experience of being absolutely terrified of becoming a 30-year-old Virgin. Like so many others, I had brought into everything bad that society said about adult Virginity — that adult Virgins are abnormal, freaks, losers, and failures as women. I had been so brainwashed by this garbage that I had, in fact, looked upon turning 30 as a sort of death, because 30 was the “final deadline.”

According to society, you should lose their Virginity before your 18th birthday because you are considered an adult at that age, and no respectable adult should be a Virgin. And though it’s “disappointing” if you don’t make this first deadline, it’s OK, there’s still time. The second deadline comes at age 25. If you still haven’t had sex by then, society says, you definitely have issues, but there’s still hope because you’re not over the hill yet. But once you hit that third and final deadline, the big 3-0, and you still haven’t lost it — you are officially condemned to social oblivion. Three strikes, you’re out!

Fortunately for me being “out” had it’s benefits. Once the unthinkable had happened — I greeted my 30^thbirthday still as pure as a newborn babe — all the fear and anxiety I’d experienced over the prospect of getting stuck with an “expired” V-card vanished. By the time I turned 31 and the “final deadline” had faded into the rear view mirror, all the things that society said about Virginity and sex didn’t matter so much anymore. Everything started to look brighter and clearer, and for the first time in a long time I felt a sense of peace because I was no longer at war with myself. I was no longer fighting the Chaste woman who I was meant to be, and I was no longer trying to destroy the Virginity that was so much a part of me.

Now that I had accepted the fact that I was different, I suddenly felt extremely lonely and isolated. I felt alienated from everyone else around me because I was the only adult Virgin I knew. I wondered if there were any other people like me. I decided to find out, and there was no better place to start than online.

The first significant pro-Virgin website I found was one whose title page declared that Virginity and Celibacy was “a way to longevity and a healthy life.” FINALLY! In an anti-Virgin world where everything was all about sex, I had finally found something that I could relate to. I was so thrilled to have found such a site that devoured its pages without even stopping to comprehend what I was actually reading — like a starving man shoveling heaps of food in his mouth without taking the time to taste it. But the highlight of it all was viewing the website’s guestbook and the tons of comments left by Virgins, many of them my age or older. What a relief it was to finally know that I was not the only one, and that I was not so odd after all. And there were male Virgins, too. More of them than I would have expected there to be. In fact, the males seemed to outnumber the females, not that I had any complains.

My excitement came to a screeching halt, however, when I became aware from closely reading the various messages that this site was about LIFELONG CHASTITY, and advocated staying a Virgin for your ENTIRE life. No sex. No marriage. EVER! Somehow I had missed that part coming in. I couldn’t believe it! As far as I knew, Perpetual Virginity was the stuff of myths and legends. I had never heard of people who chose to permanently remain Virgins in real life; I didn’t even know it was possible, let alone an option. At that time, I was still technically practicing abstinence until marriage. I had always planned on getting married and having sex eventually, because I assumed that marriage and sex, like death and taxes, were inevitable. No matter how much I enjoyed being a Virgin I understood that one day it had to end, because “you can’t stay a Virgin all your life!” or so I had been told. Going through life without ever having sex was unnatural, so I believed. It wasn’t normal and it wasn’t right.

I continued to scroll down through the various messages in the guest book where people spoke about how committing to lifelong Virginity brought them a greater sense of purpose, made them feel closer to God, brought them eternal happiness, and so on. “These people are a bunch of flakes!” I thought. “I search for other Virgins and this is what I find??? This website is nutty and I won’t waste anymore of my time with it!” I exited out and shut down the computer.

Continued…

How I came to be a Perpetual Virgin menu

6 Comments

by Miss Daphne on January 24, 2012 • Permalink

Posted in Aging, Perpetual Virginity

Tagged 30 year old virgin, abstinence, adult virginity, adult virgins, Celibacy, chastity, get laid, God, newborn babe, perpetual virginity, Perpetual virginity of Mary, sex, three strikes, turning 30, Virgin, virginity, virgins

Posted by Miss Daphne on January 24, 2012

https://virginitysvoice.org/2012/01/24/how-i-came-to-be-a-perpetual-virgin-part-6/

Author: Miss Daphne
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1. Never take anything at face value.

2. People can’t give what they don’t have.

3. Trust your instincts.

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#3

Robert Pattinson gives his Virginity and gets screwed

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Hollywood salutes Virginity in Snow White and the Huntsman

Note: “Spoiler Alert!”

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Cabaret icon Pam Shaw goes public about being a Virgin at 70

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By the way, my birthday was yesterday. I’m a 43-year-old Virgin now!

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Author: Miss Daphne

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