Post a hug for Valentine’s Day!

Yep. It’s that time of year again!

Here’s my funny Valentine video for you!

So, for all the Virgin guys out there without a Valentine today, whether you’re a nerd or not….  here’s a great big hug from me.


(And if any of you guys could post a hug to the Virgin ladies out there without a Valentine, I’m sure they’d appreciate it!)

Want to get laid? Lower your standards.

“If you gave your man/woman a 24 hour break from your relationship,” a radio host said on a station I was listing to, “and told them that they could do anything they wanted sexually with someone else, would your man/woman have enough game to get laid in that time?”

I rolled my eyes.

These pop music stations can have some pretty dumb topics on their shows. Most of them are about sex: popular culture’s never-ending obsession. This particular segment which asked “does your man/woman have enough ‘game’ to get laid in 24 hours” got me thinking though. Popular culture likes to portray Virgins, especially adult Virgins, as people who don’t have “game” (game being slang for the ability to seduce somebody). Popular culture says that the only reason someone over 18 would be a Virgin is because they’re too ugly or geeky to get laid. Nonsense!

There is no such thing as the inability to get laid for someone whose standards are low enough!

Adults who are Virgins are Virgins because they want to be, whether they realize it or not. People who are inclined to be sexually active but have not yet done so are holding out because they want their first sexual experience to be special. They want their wedding night to mean something — or they at least want to find someone they love, and who loves them in return, to lose their virginity to. They are not looking for cheap thrills.

The stereotypes about who gets laid and who doesn’t simply don’t hold up. Despite being portrayed as undesirable losers, many Virgins are very attractive, highly successful, and extremely hip. Nick Jonas is a Virgin, and with thousands of screaming girls chasing after him, no one can say that he lacks “game”! He just chooses to abstain. And despite being portrayed as the “in-crowd” there are non-virgins that are so bad-looking, gross, and obnoxious that you wonder how they ever got over.

If a Virgin woman really wanted to have sex all she would have to do is dress like a street-walker, walk down to the nearest bar, and pick up any scumbag in the room. And a Virgin guy that wants to lose his Virginity simply has to find a street-walker. Some will go with you for as little as a pack of cigarettes.

Anyone can get laid. Anyone at all. If they are willing to lower their standards and lower them far enough.

Glee hits a sour note for adult Virgins

Glee, that show about a geeky high school glee club, is a guilty pleasure that I’m almost embarrassed to admit I like. It’s a cornball, PG-13, pop music, high school, bubblegum, melodrama that at my age I’m supposed to be above watching. Still, I never miss an episode. And tonight is Glee night, so I’ll be parked in front of my TV set with a bag of microwave popcorn as usual. I don’t know what’s in store this week, but last week was as melodramatic as ever when a hip and popular substitute teacher played by Gwyneth Paltrow, almost took Mr. Schuster’s job as Glee club director. However, it’s episode that aired the week before it that I’m still reeling from. In this episode called never been kissed Coach Beiste outed herself as a Virgin when she admitted that she had never kissed.

Although Glee is one of my favorite shows and I appreciate the fact that  it  has made Virgins more visible in that it has several Virgin characters, I resent the stereotypical image of Virginity presented in the never been kissed episode.The idea that adult Virgins are just unattractive losers that can’t get laid is one of the most pervasive stereotypes out there, and Glee perpetuates it through Coach Beiste.

The physical appearance of Coach Beiste, the hefty, unattractive female gym teacher that coaches the football team, has been the butt of jokes since her character first appeared on the show. Even her name is a joke because “Beiste” sounds like “beast“, and that is essentially what she is being called. In the never been kissed episode, her appearance was mocked by the glee kids who used mental images of her to kill their sexual desire during make-out sessions with partners that wouldn’t put out. After she had been insulted and publicly humiliated by this she revealed in a sob story to Mr. Schuster that she was 40 and had never been kissed. Mr. Schuster gave her a “pity kiss” which she gladly accepted as any stereotypical Virgin with no chance of getting a man would. 

The stereotypical image of Virginity as a condition of sexually undesirable people is based on prejudice and ignorance. Looks have nothing to do with sexual experience. Lots of unattractive people have lost their Virginity simply because they were willing to put out; and lots of attractive people have kept their Virginity because they don’t believe in sleeping around. Coach Beast (Oops, I mean, Coach Beiste.) does not represent the majority of adult Virgins any more than Emma Pillsbury, the other adult Virgin character on the show whose paranoid fear of germs makes her avoid all closeness and intimacy, does. I think it’s sad that Glee which is supposed to be all about acceptance cannot accept adult Virginity without negative stereotypes. And I think its hypocritical that a show that promotes a message of tolerance would promote the intolerant view that there must be something wrong with someone who remains a Virgin into adulthood.

It’s wonderful that Glee has helped to make Virgins more visible by portraying them as part of the social landscape, but it’s only until Glee accepts Virgins and Virginity without stereotypes or prejudice that it will actually practice what it preaches.

Vampire Virgin!

Virgins rule in “Dracula: Pages from A Virgin’s Diary”!

I don’t like horror movies. Halloween is the one and only time of year when I watch them. Most of these movies are terrible, and I’ve seen some real bombs in Halloweens’ past. This year I’m on a vampire kick. In addition to wanting to be one for Halloween, my movie selections the past couple weeks have included vampire flicks. Personally, I prefer the traditional vampires that hated crosses and daylight, were purely demonic, and made no apologies for what they were — not the whiny, sensitive, all-too-human vampires that are popular today. Therefore, my movie selections included older, less mainstream versions of the vampire saga. And being “traditional” vampires, as those in my movies were, only the blood of a Virgin would satisfy them.

I really don’t like the way Virgins are portrayed as hapless victims in many of these films. I certainly don’t see myself that way. I identified more with the vampires than with these stereotypical Virgins. Vampires and Virgins have a lot in common in that neither of them have sex! And like vampires, Chaste Virgins aren’t even interested in it.

A lot of misinformed people think people that don’t desire sex are “asexual,” but using vampires as an example I can show that this is untrue. Despite the fact that they don’t have sex or want to, Vampires are some of the most sexual creatures there are. It’s just that their sexuality is centered a desire for blood instead of a desire for sex. The act of drinking someone’s blood is for a vampire what sex is for mortals. Similarity, Chaste Virgins are sexual too. Being Chaste does not mean that you are not sexual. It just means that your sexuality is centered around a desire for intimacy instead of a desire for sex. The act of being close to someone and receiving emotional gratification of needs in the form of intimacy is to a Chaste Virgin what sex is to others. Take a vampire, substitute the need for intimacy for the need for blood, and there you have the sexuality of a Chaste Virgin. So many sexually active people have such a hard time understanding how sexuality can exist without sex when they need only watch any vampire movie to get a perfect example of it.

This Halloween I want to be a vampire to because it expresses, not the impotent victim the world thinks I am, but the strong sexual being that I know myself to be.

  • Author: Miss Daphne

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