All posts tagged abstinence

Virgin bashers are envious, resentful, and insecure.

The fore mentioned person in my last post who I’ll refer to as “Bob” finally viewed my “I think people who abstain from sex should say NO to bullying” article. However, I totally disagreed with the response he wrote to it.

I had disagreed with Bob’s views that Virgins should “use a lying spirit” and do everything they can to hide the fact that they are Virgins. I relish my Virginity and I don’t understand why anyone who is a Virgin wouldn’t feel anything but proud and fortunate. There’s nothing more pathetic than being ashamed of who and what you are. And no matter what they say, anyone who would deny their Virginity is ashamed of it in my book. The Bobs of the world may argue that lying about being a Virgin will protect you from those that won’t like you for it. But 42 years of experience has taught me that people who don’t like you for being a virgin are either envious, resentful, or insecure. They want nothing better than to make you feel bad about yourself. And if they can shame you into hiding deep in the Chastity closet, where you are not a threat to them — they win. Why give them that power? Why allow people who secretly don’t think they are as good as you feel as though you are the loser?

Later I’ll post the comment that Bob wrote to my article and give you my response to it.

6 Comments
by Miss Daphne on September 14, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Anti-virgin/Anti-chaste bigotry, Bullying
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Posted by Miss Daphne on September 14, 2011

https://virginitysvoice.org/2011/09/14/virgin-bashers-are-envious-resentful-and-insecure/

People who abstain from sex should say “NO” to bullying. (continued)

In my last post I wrote about a group that I started on a social networking site dedicated to getting the word out about anti-virgin bullying. I also wrote that I would let you know what happened with this group in the days to come. Well, for a long while nothing happened. The “group” had been in place for over a month and until recently, I was its lone member. I couldn’t believe that I was the only one who saw bullying, sexual harassment, and discrimination against sexually abstinent people as a problem, and I knew that there were many other people out there who had experienced it and where upset by it. Clearly, the “if-you-build-it-they-will-come” approach wasn’t working so I decided to take my message directly to the people.

There were a number of other groups on this site devoted to Virginity and Celibacy so I decided that I would publicize my anti-bullying message there and provide links back to my group. The first group I went to was a popular Virginity group where I immediately noticed a post that said, “Is anybody following the Tim Tebow story?American football player for the Denver Broncos is facing a special kind of discrimination because he is a Christian Virgin.” I posted back to the author of the thread saying this was the first time I had heard of it, and that I had just started a group devoted to addressing issues of bullying and discrimination against Virgins. I told him that anti-virgin sentiment in our society was getting so bad that a kid had committed suicide because he was being teased for being a Virgin. (I was referring to the Michael Berry story that I wrote about in my last post.)

“I believe what you are saying,” he replied, “the football team is lying about Tebow, and saying he can’t play, in an attempt to destroy his career before it gets started…. Did you know that the Bible has advice for virgins, and it’s actually telling people to lie, in order to protect themselves? Yes, the Bible actually says ‘use a lying spirit’, and to not ‘share your pearls’, with those who would hurt you. In other words, don’t admit you’re a virgin, is actually Biblical advice.” he said

He offered to show me the verses and said that “the language is actually harsher for people who want to hurt virgins. So, virgins who feel the need to protect themselves don’t have to feel guilty about whatever measures they take.”

He asked me to provide a link to my group so he could check out what I had written, and I said that I would look into the Tim Tebow story. But all I could think about was him telling me that as Virgins we should lie about who we are for the sake of not appearing to be different from everyone else just because of the hateful and intolerant attitudes of some people. I am no Biblical scholar, but I had never heard of any scripture in the Bible that encouraged people to lie. Even if there was I it wouldn’t matter to me because — #1. I am not a Christian, and #2. I am proud of my Virginity and I don’t think that I should have to hide it. 

I posted links to my group and to the story I wrote and said that I would investigate Tim Tebow. I needed a real life example of anti-virgin discrimination other than the fictional “School Daze” example I wrote of in my “People who abstain from sex should say “NO” to bullying” story, and if Tim Tebow is truly being discriminated against because he is a Virgin, I will have heard just about everything.

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by Miss Daphne on August 31, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Bullying, Religion
Tagged , , , , , , , ,

Posted by Miss Daphne on August 31, 2011

https://virginitysvoice.org/2011/08/31/people-who-abstain-from-sex-should-say-%e2%80%9cno%e2%80%9d-to-bullying-continued/

People who abstain from sex should say “NO” to bullying.

Hello again!

If you are a repeat visitor or have seen my last post, you know that it has been awhile since I last posted. I don’t want you to think that I’m a lazy blogger, it’s just that I’ve been going through some things. The thing awoke my from blogger hibernation is a recent experience with a social networking site. No, I’m not on Facebook… yet. (That’s coming.) I’m with a social network that many of you have probably never heard of called “The Experience Project.” It’s a site where you can start groups based on special interests and write about your experiences and opinions on things and other people respond. Anyway, I started a group called “I think people who abstain from sex should say NO to bullying.” And I posted an “experience” or article called, “Wake up, people!” I’ll comment on what happened in the days ahead, but first read the story. I’ve reprinted it here for your convenience. Here it is…

Look at this!!!   
http://www.koat.com/r/27350780/detail.html

This happened four months ago, but did any of you hear about it? I didn’t. A 13-year-old boy rapes his 7-year-old sister because he was being mercilessly bullied and tormented for being a Virgin. If this kid had been bullied for being gay it would have been all over the news and there would have been public outrage. But since he was only a Virgin, the whole thing was pretty much dismissed and laughed off just like that guy in the video did. “Awwww, come on!” he said.

I am a virgin myself and I say to other Virgins — and to Celibates too for that matter — that if you think that people who abstain from sex are hated, undervalued, and treated as less than human in this society — you are not imagining things — you are absolutely right! When I first heard about this story it made me angry. When I saw this video I wanted to cry. But this tale of anti-chaste bullying and hate is not an isolated incident. The world is full of stories of people who are bullied, harassed, and discriminated against for being Virgins or Celibate. Most go unreported as they are not considered newsworthy. Others you would have to look hard for in order to find. Like the story of Michael Berry who was bullied so relentlessly by his school peers for being a Virgin that on the morning of his seventeenth birthday he brought a gun to school and shot himself. They found his body lying on the floor of the school bathroom along with four suicide notes describing why he did it and the fact that he had nowhere to go for help or support. (view his story here)
http://ghswarriorvoice.com/student-life/2011/02/01/why-bullying-has-to-stop/

And if you think that this sort of bullying is only a problem for Virgin males, you’re wrong. I have heard stories of Virgin girls that were beaten up by gangs of other girls just for being Virgins. In another story a 17-year-old girl wanted to drop out of school because she was being hit and called names by the other kids because she was a Virgin. Then the boy she went to prom with started a rumor that he had sex with her things got worse. The other boys wanted her to “put out” for them too. Of course, she refused and then she stared being sexually harassed in addition to being bullied. 
http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/peer-pressure/41532.html

Sexual harassment is also a huge issue for sexually abstinent people. I read one story about a guy who was forced to quit a high paying job because he was being sexually harassed by female co-workers who taunted him about his Virginity and subjected him to sexually explicit harassment. He is now attempting to sue for damages for sexual harassment, sexual discrimination, and victimization.  
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-446515-my-virgin-taunt-by-sex-bully.do

This story hit home for me because I myself had to quit a job after co-workers found out that I was a Virgin and the sexual harassment became ridiculous. Sexually abstinent people also face discrimination. I haven’t been able to find any articles on it but in Spike Lee movie “School Daze” there was a fraternity that openly refused to admit Virgins. And since art imitates life such a situation had to exist somewhere.

The reason I’m saying all this is to get people to wake up. Anti-chaste bullying, sexual harassment, and discrimination has to stop. And the first step to doing that is by telling our stories and breaking the silence and apathy that surrounds this issue. What we really need is an organization to fight for the rights of Virgin and Celibate people just like the gays and every other group has. In the meantime, It’s my hope that this group will provide help and support for anyone dealing with these issues. A support group like this is what poor Michael Berry did not have. Perhaps he would still be alive had there been one.

4 Comments
by Miss Daphne on July 27, 2011  •  Permalink
Posted in Bullying
Tagged , , , , , , ,

Posted by Miss Daphne on July 27, 2011

https://virginitysvoice.org/2011/07/27/i-think-people-who-abstain-from-sex-should-say-no-to-bullying/

Vampire Virgin!

Virgins rule in “Dracula: Pages from A Virgin’s Diary”!

I don’t like horror movies. Halloween is the one and only time of year when I watch them. Most of these movies are terrible, and I’ve seen some real bombs in Halloweens’ past. This year I’m on a vampire kick. In addition to wanting to be one for Halloween, my movie selections the past couple weeks have included vampire flicks. Personally, I prefer the traditional vampires that hated crosses and daylight, were purely demonic, and made no apologies for what they were — not the whiny, sensitive, all-too-human vampires that are popular today. Therefore, my movie selections included older, less mainstream versions of the vampire saga. And being “traditional” vampires, as those in my movies were, only the blood of a Virgin would satisfy them.

I really don’t like the way Virgins are portrayed as hapless victims in many of these films. I certainly don’t see myself that way. I identified more with the vampires than with these stereotypical Virgins. Vampires and Virgins have a lot in common in that neither of them have sex! And like vampires, Chaste Virgins aren’t even interested in it.

A lot of misinformed people think people that don’t desire sex are “asexual,” but using vampires as an example I can show that this is untrue. Despite the fact that they don’t have sex or want to, Vampires are some of the most sexual creatures there are. It’s just that their sexuality is centered a desire for blood instead of a desire for sex. The act of drinking someone’s blood is for a vampire what sex is for mortals. Similarity, Chaste Virgins are sexual too. Being Chaste does not mean that you are not sexual. It just means that your sexuality is centered around a desire for intimacy instead of a desire for sex. The act of being close to someone and receiving emotional gratification of needs in the form of intimacy is to a Chaste Virgin what sex is to others. Take a vampire, substitute the need for intimacy for the need for blood, and there you have the sexuality of a Chaste Virgin. So many sexually active people have such a hard time understanding how sexuality can exist without sex when they need only watch any vampire movie to get a perfect example of it.

This Halloween I want to be a vampire to because it expresses, not the impotent victim the world thinks I am, but the strong sexual being that I know myself to be.

3 Comments
by Miss Daphne on October 31, 2010  •  Permalink
Posted in Holidays, Intimacy, Sexual expression, Stereotypes
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Posted by Miss Daphne on October 31, 2010

https://virginitysvoice.org/2010/10/31/vampire-virgin/

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